I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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