isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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