I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
