Plan B is the new Plan A
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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