do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
We got so high we made milksteak
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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