I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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