Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'

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(407): View more from Florida

I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

he said i ruined lesbian porn for him

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(407): View more from Florida

Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?

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(757): View more from Virginia

Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight

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(206): View more from Washington

Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.

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(251): View more from Alabama

He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?

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(619): View more from California

I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.

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