Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
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