Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
