cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
