He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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