I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Randomize
