Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
