all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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