Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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