well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
