I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
