Can i not drive my cunt home
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
