can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
