He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
