You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
you are never too drunk for berry picking
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
