With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
