If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
