somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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