Dual....:-)
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
