Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
