Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
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