I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
