I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
