What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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