do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
