I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I just googled if crying burns calories
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
