You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
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