so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize