absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
