I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
