If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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