i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
