IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
