girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
