I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
