I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize