You're completely useless in the revolution.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize