Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Drunk is not a location!
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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