I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
