I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
