I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize