What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
