I wish i was in the wii world.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
