I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize