And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
