whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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