She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
