1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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