Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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