i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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