I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
