i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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