I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Blood and glitter go together right?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Randomize
