when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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