i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
